I am already feeling the difference from preparing during my first year in this school to preparing for this year as my second year in this school. I already know I'll be starting with more a more solid standing.
On my last post, Mr. D, from I Want to Teach Forever, left a comment that I've been thinking about the last few weeks.
You mentioned how you stopped blogging because you "wanted to not think about school when I was outside of school," and that is a good idea. But I also think you could turn your writing into a source of inspiration and motivation, instead of a release as it more or less was this first year. I wrote a blog for my friends and family that detailed the day to day struggles, the misery, anger and occasional triumph. But it was really hard to write that way after a while, and I hated focusing so much on the negative. When I started I Want to Teach Forever, I decided to make something entirely positive, as much for me as for the other teachers I would ostensibly be helping. If you are continuing to teach, maybe a new direction could make this more of a source of positive thoughts for you.
I'm thinking he's right... A new direction. I'm aware that I need to change the way I think, the way I share. Last school year, it didn't take me long to realize that people thought they'd want to know about the troubles of teaching in inner-city schools, but the truth is, they really don't. It turns out to sound more like complaining and completely changes the moods of myself and my listener. I soon realized that I didn't want to talk about it either, so I stopped. Or at least tried to as much as possible.
Mr. D is also right in the fact that I did spend the whole year last year in survival mode. I was just trying to keep enough oxygen in my lungs to keep me from collapsing... I was not able to do all the fun, creative, time-consuming preparation required activities with my class last year that I'd done in previous years when I had taught outside the city.
This year is different. I know I can survive... I know I can do a little more than just survive. I'm really pushing myself to be a better teacher, to really find a way to reach my students in more creative ways. (Like this one.)
Mr. D, thank you for inspiring me. I am excited about where I might be able to take this to! The direction I think I'm going to go in is this: How I'm making things work... Better ways of teaching in my classroom...
