6 Pennies for Reading

To prepare for the upcoming 5th grade social studies test, we've been cramming information down our students' throats. Luckily, they are fairly interested in the topics (lately colonial NY) and seem to be learning and are able to relate their learning to their own lives.

Today's learning introduced the idea that colonial children often paid their teacher in order to learn lessons. Reading was about 6 pennies and writing and math were more, according to our book. At the end of the day, as Ms. B was discussing the similarities of the lives of colonial children with the lives of our children with one of our boys (a sweet, well-behaved learner). During their discussion, he offered up, "I have a dollar if you want it." :)

Doing Just Enough to Stay Slightly Above

I often wonder if a happy teacher exists in my school? I wonder how some of these teachers can stay working for so long in this environment. I expect to be stressed out by my students and teaching, but I don't expect to be stressed out by the system and the way things run... at least not to the point that it makes me hate my job.

Recently, we had a meeting with our 5th grade team and administration to discuss the upcoming State Social Studies Test (which will be given Nov. 12 and 13 to all 5th graders in the city). Less than 3 weeks away and we are just now talking about plans to get our students ready for this test. Our principal is just NOW talking about what should be happening in our classrooms. I seriously want to kick some people in the head. They know they have new teachers, and even more, New teachers who are Not familiar with the New York Tests. Yet, they haven't done much to help us prepare our kids or ourselves.

Fortunately Ms. B and I have attempted to educate ourselves about this test, and we've been very proactive in our classroom to attempt to prepare our students as much as we possibly can. Unfortunately, it's extremely hard when there are no resources (text books) and copies are not dependable enough to rely on. We don't have technology to show them anything on the internet or videos (the Smart boards might as well be locked in display cases... because that seems to be all they are used for... Looks.). The students have no prior knowledge on any of the information for the Social Studies test... even though our principals are sure they know Something. Right. I believe it. My kids couldn't even find NY on a map and I'm still not sure if they know the difference between countries and states. The other day, our students declared Mexico a state in the U.S. and New York was a country separate from the U.S. This is the foundation I must build upon.

Then there is all this talk about holding teachers accountable by looking at test scores. You can go ahead and count me out. I am working with next to nothing... Is this my fault? Is this something I even have control of? I guess this means, if I can prepare my kids without resources, I'll be Amazing when I actually have something to teach with!

So anyway, back to this wonderful meeting we were having to discuss our plan for the test. We are talking about a "new" discovery and strategy. We need to teach our students the jargon on the test. What are those words? How can we teach them (in less than 3 weeks)? ... Ummm My thought: What the hell have you been doing for the last 5 years of Social Studies testing? Why are you just realizing this now!? It's a complete given that the wording on tests can cause students to miss questions that they may be able to answer if worded differently. It BLOWS me away to think that some of the people I am working with are completely oblivious to this idea. Yet, we are talking about it now as if we just made a Great discovery that will help our students be more successful on this upcoming test! (O and we don't have a list or a plan really, we're just talking about it.) Every school I have been at prior to this one has had this vocabulary issue integrated into their teaching. There are lists developed or shared with districts and schools to use... and they were created from the start of these high-pressure tests.

Sometimes, I cannot believe how far behind this school is. It's completely sad and frustrating. We should not be wasting our time discussing things that should already be developed... and if we are discussing it, can we start a bit earlier? We've known for a while now, The Test is coming. This is an issue here. The school only does enough, at the last minute, to attempt to stay slightly above requirements. For example, our kids only need to get 17 of the 35 multiple choice questions right on the S.S. Test... As long as they can get this, everyone's happy. These are the expectations they are setting up for us. Somehow, I'm not ok with the low expectations. It doesn't make me happy.

2 Students Less

Our class size dropped this week by 2. We had one of our boys (with behavior issues and a mother who liked to yell at us and never believe her son was a problem) and one of our girls (smart, sweet, kind, amazing) move away. The girl gave us no warning, and we have no working phone number to try to figure out where she went or if she is for sure gone... Sad. The boy left 2 days earlier than planned and we received the official word through the discharge paper. Last year, I just gained students (if I remember right)... But there's word from a couple other students who say they will be leaving too. Of course, how many times did kids tell me that last year and it never happened? We'll see. Mostly, I'm interested to see how changes throughout the year affect the class. It seems to be as common here as when I taught on a military base, and students came and went as their parents were assigned new stations.

I'm wondering when they'll start adding to our class. Technically we shouldn't get anymore students with IEPs. Yet, I'm sure they'd try to put them in our class anyway... They seem to think we are great targets for sneaking stuff past since we are new and "don't know" any better.

Lay Offs in Dallas

Some teachers in Dallas are probably not enjoying their weekends as much as the rest. 375 were laid off Thursday.

I don't really envy the teachers there... and I cannot imagine how I would handle something like this in the school I'm working in now (we've already got enough chaos). Check out Mister Teacher's blog entry about the Thursday of Layoffs. For once I'm thankful for my current teaching location.

Breaking Up Fights

Some of our students (most of the boys) act like different people outside of our classroom walls. At lunch and before school they are extremely crazy, out of control, rude, disrespectful, and loud. For the third day in a row (in our 4 day week), We've walked out to pick up our charms from recess only to find mass chaos and fights either taking place or on the verge of erupting.

Wednesday's fight was actually going on when we arrived, and sadly, it was between 2 of our boys. It was the first fight we've seen, with our own eyes, involving our students. I was starting to think that our boys were a bit more civilized than the rest of the school... I was wrong.

Thursday, I was able to keep a fight from happening by stepping in front of a student and veering him off track as he headed for the other student he was about to attack. I was careful not to get too much in the middle of the situation, just enough to attempt to direct this very mad/upset boy away. He, luckily, walked away with me, after much convincing. I stood with him on the other end of the play ground as he worked to calm himself down... I talked to him through his heavy breathing, crying, and shaking convincing him to take deep breaths. (Later, I found him and thanked him for walking away from the fight with me. I also asked if the rest of his day went ok. Building relationships with students outside of my room is important to me. I saw this help me last year, as a colleague stepped up and built a relationship with one of my "favorites".)

Friday, again we were treated with a nice after-lunch dessert of fighting and chaos. This time, a student was knocked to the ground and the boys formed a circle around him and watched as he was being kicked and knocked around. When there's a fight, most of the boys are egging it on, laughing, and surrounding it faster than shoppers surround merchandise during the Day-After-Thanksgiving sales. It's so sad to see fighting bring about so much entertainment, enjoyment, and laughter for these 5th grade boys.

Instead of fighting and running the playground, it is expected that the students are lined up waiting for us to pick them up from lunch recess to return to class. Our lines are almost always half lines, as some of our "favorites" are off running around as if they own the place and are above the expectation. When they finally decide to join the line, they do so very slowly and very loudly.

Today, we'd had enough. They realized this too. Upon entering the building, I informed the students that there would be NO talking and only working. I explained that I was completely disappointed at some of our students' choices not to line up in the line. I then sent them into the classroom to do the Do Now on the board in silence. As Ms. B and I stood in the doorway, watching for the A.P. or some answers to another issue that had taken place while at lunch recess, our students worked in silence. I was surprised, but happy. It was a sign to me that we've gotten through to them... in some way they realize when we mean business, we Mean business. The rest of our afternoon was a bit easier. The students who usually caused problems seemed to know they couldn't push us any further... The truth is, I don't really know what I would have done or could have done as a consequence for any further misbehaving. The fact that their choices disappointed us was enough of a consequence for these students to shape up. I'm starting to feel like they care what we think as their teachers, and they are starting to realize that we, too, care about them.

Is it the Weekend Yet?!

I haven't had a great week at school (even though it's only been two days - Monday was off)... I am not happy with my current working environment. I'm not happy with all the stuff that goes on that shouldn't be and all the stuff that doesn't go on that should be.

I miss the world I lived in before, where schools made sense and my problems were so small. Ahh... I had no idea then how much worse it could be... now, I feel like even if the students are only learning a little bit, it will be a huge success, given the circumstances. Or maybe I'm just frustrated and feeling worn out. Hopefully, I'll be able to continue up this mountain and give the students the amount of knowledge they deserve. It seems more complicated than it needs to be though. I guess, if I'm going to keep climbing and spreading the knowledge, I should probably head to bed.

So Much for a Day Off

Today was our last day off until Thanksgiving, which is 6 and 1/2 weeks away! Oi! I shouldn't have looked. Yet, who am I kidding? I didn't actually have a day off today. Of course, I didn't have to make my usual hour and 15 minute commute to school or get up near as early. I did get to walk with my husband as he headed to work, and I enjoyed a nice ice coffee with him before he jumped on the subway (something I never even get to enjoy by myself during the week because the coffee shops don't open early enough around here).

From 9 this morning until now, I've been grading, updating checklists for reading, writing, and math goals, typing lessons, organizing papers, planning, printing, reading and commenting in Writer's Notebooks and Reading Response Journals, and keeping myself so busy that (1) I just realized it's 4:10 p.m. and (2) I haven't eaten a thing all day (minus a few bites of Mr.'s bagel). Jeez! Working conditions at home are just as bad as the conditions at school... well not quite...

Although I kept myself insanely busy today (so much for that laundry I was going to finish up and those dishes that need to be cleaned), my day has lacked the element of Frustration. This particular form of Frustration doesn't come from within my classroom (we expect to get frustrated throughout a day of working with children), it comes from outside of my classroom... The people in charge.

I cannot believe that we are a month and a half into the school year, and they are still making up their minds about how things should be. Even better, they've had enough time in 6 weeks to change their minds and ask us to do things in a completely different way. For example, at the beginning of the year, we were told that every class needed to have the same lessons and be teaching the same thing at the same time. Right. That's possible. We were attempting and sharing the weight of having to write page or more lesson plans for each subject (6 a day X 5 days a week = 30 lessons a week). Now, we are being told that NONE of us should have the same lesson plans. We all need to have our own lessons for each of the lessons we teach. The expectation is that our plan books have all of these lessons written up, printed out, and at school everyday. Yah right. I'll start doing this when they give me a printer and paper and time to type (our planning time is filled with meetings most days).

I plan. I know what I'm teaching. I have to know where I'm going and what my goals are, what the standards are, what the students need to know before we can even begin the lessons/units. I know what to say and what questions to ask. I am constantly thinking about what I'll be teaching over the next weeks, and therefore, I'm constantly making my future lessons better... In my head. I have one sheet per day that I write my notes on. I have at least 2 weeks of notes and lessons penciled in. I am a teacher who has had training in lesson planning and I have college professors who still use my work as examples in class on what the planning of lessons and units looks like. It is a natural thing for me to do. I DON'T HAVE TIME TO WRITE 30+ PAGES A WEEK TO BE A GOOD TEACHER! There are more important things for me to do, like grade papers, figure out how I'm going to teach those kids who didn't get it the 1st time, 2nd time, 3rd time, figure out how I'm going to get my kids to the end point and have them prepared for upcoming tests and for the 6th grade... I have more than enough to do... All of these things which run out of the school day and into my own personal time... I don't have time to type 30+ pages. I've already gotten the paper (my college degree) that shows I know how to do this.

If the principal ever does come around to check my book of lessons (hasn't yet in the first 6 weeks), I'll show her what I have. I'll tell her to ask me about any of the lessons I have written in my one-page daily plan. I promise I'll be able to tell her why I'm teaching what I am teaching. I'll be able to explain what it was built on and/or where it is heading after this lesson. I'll be able to explain how I'm going to engage my students, assess them, differentiate the lessons for them, reteach them, and connect it to future learning. I'll be able to tell the principal what is classwork, partner work, individual work. I'll be able to explain how and when the students share their work. There is no reason for me to kill trees, use up time I don't even have, along with paper and ink just to have words on a paper.

At least I can have this plan of action until they actually start ENFORCING the pages of lessons. Dear Lord, I hope that day never comes.

Some days make my heart sick for my "home" school - the one I taught at last year, in my first year of teaching... The one that is worlds away. I miss you, School, with all my heart.

Women Fart

Proof provided by a 5th Grader:

Women fart. I know this because my mom does it all the time.

Ms. B and I got a great laugh out of this one!

Morning Naps

We have a chronic sleeping child in our class. After weeks of "letting him sleep" because of his "medicine," I have come to the conclusion that (1) I'm not sure if it is completely his medicine, but instead him using his medicine as an excuse for getting out of his work and (2) he will not learn what he needs to learn in 5th grade and be prepared for 6th grade if we just let him sleep through the morning lessons.

There have been only a few days this year that he has stayed awake to join us (probably less than I can count on one hand). Yet, there have been many days, while trying to coax him to wake up, we've seen an eye pop open here and there to check our location... not as sneaky as he thinks he is. Unfortunately, there have also been many days where he's not faking it and I'm sure he's actually fallen asleep, because no one is there bothering him to wake up (I know I could fall asleep if someone left me alone for 5 minutes with my head down)... but Ms. B and I cannot constantly go back and forth convincing him to stay awake - especially when he's so defiant and causes so many problems when it's not his way. We have too many students who have needs in our class, it's impossible for one of us to focus ALL of our attention on him.

We've been looking for, asking for, thinking of strategies to try with him to keep him awake in our class. The past few days I've tried to pump him up with encouragement and expectations from the moment he walks in the classroom. We've started by telling him our expectation that he stays awake. Today, I told him I knew he'd be able to because he came in "wide awake and full of energy" (as he does everyday, I just pointed it out and used it against him). I also made a point to show him excitement for his work and encouragement for every little task at hand. (I wonder how long I'll be able to keep this up before I get exhausted or distracted by other students.)

This battle is a bit frustrating for me. I know he's on medication, and if it is indeed the medication, it's unfair for him to miss out on class. Yet, I think he has a bit more control of the situation and uses it to manipulate his way out of work. ...Why do I say this? Because anytime we have a special activity, like our Rosh Hashanah activity, he chooses to stay awake. For that activity, he had warning. After about 15 minutes of his morning snooze, I informed him (in a stern voice) if he didn't wake up and participate in class for the morning, he would be missing out on the Rosh Hashanah treat. Guess what Sleepy did? Woke right up and participated as a 5th grade student all morning long. Which then makes me wonder what bribing him with food would do to keep him awake...? I think it might work, yet I feel it's not the best option... I want my students to want to learn. I don't want to be manipulated and twisted around a finger of a 5th grader. I also know he's the type of student who would brag and rub it into the other students that he got a treat and they, even with their un-bribed great behavior, got nothing.

Who knows, though, I may let him manipulate me if it means he's awake and learning, but for now, the non-material/bribe motivation worked for 2 days... I wonder if tomorrow will be a third. Oh, and randomly back to the expectation thing, I wish his parents and other adults in the past didn't let him know the medication was an excuse for sleeping through class. I feel this is why he's been able to use it as a manipulative tool. I even asked his mother if she could explain to him that his medicine shouldn't make him that sleepy... just to see what would happen (obviously the expectation for staying awake has worked for two days - what could we get if we convinced him of our expectation hand-in-hand with parents, teachers, and other school adults involved). Mom is fine with using it as an excuse... as was his teacher last year... as is the admin... Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm not going to use it as an excuse, especially when I've seen that he is able to wake up and participate in class. (Excuses from students and the acceptance of excuses are a major difference between these kids and ones I've worked with in the past. Some people find it easier, for them and the students, here to let kids have their excuses, when really they need to be pushing the kids past those excuses and onto learning.)

And on a side note, I wish I were on medication to make me sleep through the morning... I'll just let Ms. B run the show on her own. My lack of sleep lately has made me so incredibly tired. My eyes are completely bloodshot (2 days in a row now), I'm almost scared they are going to go on strike against me. Or pass on the medication, how about a button to shut my brain off for a good night's sleep!

New York is Wack

My students say funny things sometimes. (Some of which I cannot laugh about until my face is hidden!) One of my favorite phrases used is the phrase they use to talk about things that aren't right. The other day while we were researching New York facts, I hear a student call out in the middle of his research, "New York is Wack!" I'm still unsure what made NY so Wack, but it makes me laugh that he thought so.

Today, another student was talking about how something was "mad hard." I informed him if he tried, it was actually "mad easy" (I know, I'm that lame teacher, but I get a kick out of it.) He was shocked that I'd use those words!

Speaking of talking and words, are kids are expected to use appropriate language in our classroom. They slip, more often than I'd like to hear, but it's probably heard and said more than I'd like to know outside of our classroom walls. Ms. B and I are both encouraging to our students to pick different words to express when they speak. Yet, again, it's challenging to have expectations for our students, when other adults come into our classroom not setting an example for our kids.

One of our specials' teachers (cluster teacher, if you must) came in this afternoon. The second sentence (I kid you not) out of her mouth was her yelling at how "pissed off" she was at the kids. Our little blurter (who drives us NUTS all day long) made us proud and asked out loud what everyone else was thinking in their minds, "Why are you pissed off? We haven't even done anything." Of course her time with our little charms was horrible, but they were just living up to her expectations. They were definitely successful, because, at the end of her period, she left the class pissed off for sure! (Not that I condone their disrespectful behavior, but I can see how the kids have a hard time respecting her when she comes in rude from the start.)

Not Just a Teacher

I attended my first happy hour event with some of my fellow teachers. I enjoyed the change of scenery, while still being with these great people I've recently started working with. I think our happiness for happy hour was not just to get a drink and relax, but also to get out of that school and away from the people who seem to be sucking the life out of us (all those other people we work with and work for).

As the conversations shifted from one rant to the next, I fell into a conversation about how I'm not actually a teacher... Someone I worked with explained that having a college education doesn't necessarily make me a teacher, at least not in this school or neighborhood. He claimed that I (and other "teachers") come into this school with no idea about these kids. We show up and teach the things the DOE and whoever else tell us to teach, but we never quite teach them, at least not enough to rise above their positions in society.

He made me start thinking. (Although from the first point of his claim, I knew he was wrong. I am a teacher. Yes, I teach what I'm supposed to, but I actually come to teach more than the required subjects.) He is a man working in this school. He grew up in this neighborhood; he still lives in this neighborhood. He knows enough about these students from his work in the classroom, that he could possibly teach his own class. But, he can't, because he doesn't own the paper with the license or the degree for a college education to let him in. He pointed out, though, the future of these kids. Is anyone talking in a way that makes furthering their education after High School the direction these kids are headed? He compared the futures of these kids compared to those outside the city. What is the realistic future of kids outside this city? They are heading for college... And these kids? It doesn't even seem possible in their minds. Many of the boys look at prison as a way to prove they are a man.

How can this change? In my classroom, I can start by talking about these students' college experiences and sharing about what it will be like When they are in college. Already, I am constantly talking about how I still learn. These kids think learning stops when school is over... they don't understand that it is happening constantly, some of it naturally and some of it because I have the desire to continue learning.

Yet, these kids come from places that I don't understand. Right now, I can offer my encouragement and proof that it can be done. I went through college on my own. I worked to receive the support I could through scholarships and grants to help fund my education. I also took out plenty of loans, which I'll be paying off for quite a while. As much as I hate those loans, I love them. They are a constant reminder of what I have done for myself, what I have provided myself.

My next step is to continue to learn about these students and learn where they come from. I don't know what their lives are like outside the walls of the school. I don't know what it's like having a single parent bring you up in the Bronx. Or what it's like having a family of 5 live on $1,200 a month in this city. I couldn't do it by myself. How can I possibly know what to do for these kids? This leaves me begging them to teach me about their lives. Yet, can they? Can they make me understand what life is living in the projects or shelters? Can they make me understand the violence they see everyday that changes them, affects who they are and the choices they make? Can they truly make me understand the frustration they have with not only their lack of control but also the lack of control their parents have everyday?

I am a teacher. I teach what I have to teach. But everyday, I show up with a desire to teach more. I come into the classroom to work with these kids to be their encourager, supporter, influence, example, promoter, cheerleader... I can only hope that I can fuel something in these students to push them to learn and use their minds in a way that will give them more control of their lives and more options for the way they live.