Books

After contacting the Razorbill editor recently about getting books for student readers to read and review before they hit the shelves, I was happy to receive a package of books for middle grades and young adult readers. I'm excited to see if I can get some of our young readers interested in reading the books and then writing reviews. Some of the more advanced books will be shared with the 6th grade classes, and I hope maybe they can encourage the students to write reviews as well, at least for the books that haven't been released yet.

Gripping Sanity

All day long, students are being pulled out of the room for various reasons. Some just need to talk about personal issues or work out anger management problems or other various behavior problems... I'm starting to wonder if I can start getting pulled out of class a couple times a week for some help from the school psychologists, too! As I walked home the other night, I wondered if this sign was put up for me. :)

Hopefully my students won't push me too far! I have to say, though, some days I hold onto my sanity for Dear Life!

Mini-Teachers

We tried something new with our extended day group (about 7 kiddos today). We coined them as "mini-teachers" and worked with them to make them experts of a topic they'd be teaching the class tomorrow for reading. The topic: Making Connections while reading. There are three types of connections readers can make (text to text, text to self, text to world). Each group worked on one specific type of connection to create a definition of it, a poster describing it, and find examples from our read aloud books to share real examples with the class.

Right before we left for the day, we had a rehearsal run where the students practiced, in front of our small group, what they would be saying to the class during reading tomorrow. I cannot wait to see how our "mini-teachers" do tomorrow!

I have to say, I love working with the smaller group of kids in our extended class time. We have a select group of students who stay longer after school to allow us to provide extra support. It's a time when Ms. B and I can start showing these kids who we really are as teachers. We've also been able to build relationships with them and don't have to deal with behavior issues (yet).

Oh... and don't tell, but I actually USED the copy machine by myself today! ... A moment that I took for granted last year in my previous school... A moment I thought would NEVER come in this school. How did I get to use the copy machine, that is guarded by a code and hidden behind a locked door, you wonder... When we asked how we could get copies made (the ones we had turned in way ahead of time and had failed to get copied), the Principal opened the Assistant Principal's office (as if it were a given that we'd make our own copies there). Luckily, someone had provided us with the copy machine code and we, super secretly, made the copies... but the Principal knew and was ok with it, so I don't feel so guilty about making the copies I needed to be the best teacher I could, even if it was behind the A.P.'s back. Although, the A.P. informed the code sharer that she'd be changing the code on the machine soon enough since someone knew it. She'd have it changed in a heartbeat if she knew more people knew it! I'm not sure yet why the code is CIA top secret.

Although it only lasted for a moment, I felt like a teacher who was trusted... I felt like someone believed I could make the right decisions about what I copied for my students and what I didn't waste paper on. Someday, I'll own that feeling again... I guess I just have to work extra hard to prove myself here... or something like that!

Top Monday Moments

*Seeing 2 students get so excited about reading Diary of a Wimpy Kid! I love when students find a book they are completely taken by! One of them has informed me (Update: And carried through with some convincing of the parents) that he'd be buying the book as soon as possible! The other is enjoying the reading material. I need to keep finding those books to keep them engaged in independent reading!

*During Social Studies, our students were working in smaller groups to successfully take notes from their books and discuss the information they were learning! Wahoo! Love to see that students are capable of working together and doing it while learning!

*I'm surviving... despite the terrible cold that has taken residence in my body since last Thursday. Sadly, I'm not the only one suffering ... I shared it with Ms. B and my husband (who is, at this exact moment, whining about how bad he feels! ... try teaching kids at the same time of feeling so bad...)

I'm Not the Only One (a rant)

I think I've done a good job of keeping this blog from being one huge rant, but that doesn't mean I'm not ranting and raving on the inside. Someday, I'll get used to this messed up system I've come into, but I'm still new and I'm Not used to the stress that comes along with teaching in the NYC public schools. I previously taught in a district that had a few elementary schools, one middle school, and one high school. I didn't have "payroll secretary" at my school, I just went to the district office a few blocks away to take care of my business. I was also surrounded with people who were kind, friendly, respectful, and all-around nice people. It's going to take me a while to get used to the change... I'm definitely not in Kansas anymore.

It's nice to know that I'm not the only new teacher frustrated by the system. I know many new teachers who share in my frustrations. I'm not the only one who is challenged to teach and expect students to be respectful even though they are surrounded by staff and faculty who can hardly show respect for others for 6 and half hours of the school day. Even the administration is blatantly disrespectful at times. I wonder how the students will ever learn to be respectful, because we all know the streets are filled with disrespect and I've already experienced moments of parents being disrespectful, so it makes me wonder how much they see at home. One place in the world that I would expect to be filled with respectful adults is a school, more specifically, an elementary school. Don't get me wrong, not everyone is disrespectful, but there are enough disrespectful role models for these students within the walls of our school... and enough of them barging into my classroom daily setting the wrong example. Which brings me to my next thought...

I know I'm not the only one getting frustrated by the constant interruptions that keep me from teaching and make me start to wonder what my intruders think my actual purpose is... Last I checked, I'm there to fill my students with knowledge. I know, papers need to be handed out, and having each teacher sign for it guarantees we get it. (Get it... meaning, in the middle of my teaching I shove it somewhere and find it randomly later with no idea I even had it.) Can someone at least explain common courtesy to these intruders? Sure, come in my classroom, but don't expect me to immediately drop Everything and run to you. Give me a moment. I'm a master of asking a question and giving students 2 seconds to discuss with a partner. That way, at least they are staying on task. Don't come into a quiet room and speak in a normal volume. Use Common Sense and Whisper! The students don't need to hear what you have to say anyway. The other day, on the subway, I found one of those papers I signed for a few days back (no idea when I received it... look how great their system actually works). It was a letter explaining the expectations of not interrupting the secretaries and administration... (Interesting... they don't like when someone comes in and demands immediate attention. Will they ever realize what they do to the classroom teachers?) I figured, if the admin. can have those expectations for their offices, so can I in my classroom. I wish I could put up a sign on the door that explains my expectations. If I could, I'd say, "Welcome to our class. We are learning, so if you Must come in, please wait by the door patiently for a moment while our teachers get us on track to continue learning. They'll be right over to address your issues. Also, please whisper, we Are learning in here!" Then again, I've already realized I don't work in a system of equal expectations. Which brings me to my next point...

I'm not the only one who has learned to fear the administration. In my past scholarly experiences, I was never a student who was getting in trouble and feared the repercussions of the principal. Nevertheless, I am beginning to understand the fear that can be tied to the administration. It's not that I'm getting "in trouble" or even think I'm doing something wrong. It's just that I often have the feeling of failure from the administration... Part of it is possibly their expectation that we are to read minds and know how to do everything correctly because they don't have time to tell their new teachers anything. Their actions make me wonder what type of teachers they would be... and how long it took for them to forget basic knowledge of teaching. I would never give my students an assignment without giving them instructions of what I expected. I wouldn't let them finish and then tell them they did it all wrong. Yet, they do this to the teachers. They let us do things the way we think we are to do it and then tell us we did it all wrong and they actually wanted it a completely different way. Yet, if they would have just told us how to do it before we started, we could have saved all the trouble and not felt like failures because we can't read minds.

Ok. I'm done for now with my rant. I think my downfall comes from my past experience. I had a great administration and staff to work with last year. They truly did everything they could to set an example for the students and prove their purpose for working in the school... I know it exists. I just wished it were more prevalent in this school. Ms. B, sharing an optimistic view on the whole mess, pointed out how nice it is that we are surrounded by teachers in our part of the hall who are positive and definitely coming to school everyday to make a difference for their students. She's right. We are lucky to have great teachers around us, and we are all going through this mess together, despite the elements that are attempting to bring us down.

It Means More

For Social Studies we’ve been discussing leaders and presidents. I was taken by the number of times my 5th graders have brought up Obama and the presidential race. The 5th graders in my previous class (from a rural town states away) didn’t seem to keep up with what was going on in the news like my new class of 5th graders, but I think it means something more to them. They have obviously made a decision of who would get their vote if they had a say at their young age.

As one of our discussions this last week led back to McCain, Obama, and presidents before, a student spoke up and said, “It’s not fair. All of our presidents have always been old, white men.” There was a sadness and sound of defeat that I didn’t expect, but he’s right. It’s not fair.

I was having a conversation with a young adult about this the other night. I took it and attempted to create a poem in two voices.

It Means More

I think more than anything, these 5th graders want to see a man who isn’t white in the White House.
I know people in my high school who want to see the same thing, too.
It’s hard when so many things hold them down… and all they want is to see someone who can rise above the issues and be something great.
These kids walk around with “I love Obama” shirts and other stuff.
They like him because he isn’t white.
They like him because he isn’t white, because he represents a chance.
They have no clue about who he is politically.
It’s not necessarily about what he stands for politically.
It is sad.
It means more to them.

I explained to my students the chance we will have this school year to witness history, either with Obama being the first President who isn’t an “old, white man” or by Palin being the first female Vice President. My students really need to see the former, and I am hopeful at the opportunity to share in their moment of empowerment and encourage them that they, too, can rise above and achieve great things… with the reminder that it’s not easy and no one is giving them anything. It’s all on them, their desires, and their choices.

Somethings Starting to Work

It's a wonder what removing one student from a classroom can do to the class. One of our students created such a distraction that we honestly felt the class was learning Nothing. Part way through the week, he was removed and put into a smaller setting. When it happened, I couldn't help but feel down on myself for not being able to get a handle on the situation when he was in the room. Someday I'll be more prepared and equipped with a bag full of tricks, and I'll be able to keep control of my room. For now, he's doing great in his new setting and the teacher can relate to him better than we could. He's also getting more attention, which helps keep him from singing and yelling out in class like he did in our room. Our class is one less without him, but is becoming more focused, and we've been able to really start feeling like our students are learning.

I can feel the students starting to get used to expectations and routines. They are finally working quietly when we ask. I'm also getting to know these students and am already beginning to break through with some of the students with behavior issues.

One of our boys has been a mess since the beginning of the year. No one had any suggestions for us on what works or worked in the past, and his attitude has been horrible whenever we've attempted to address issues. The students work to earn daily points, with behavior and homework being factors in the amount of points they earn. Most days, either Ms. B or I talk to the students who we feel didn't earn all of their points. I usually address them in a calm, honest way, asking them how many points they think they earned. We've yet to have one of them tell us they earned all their points. They realize what they did wrong during the day and almost all of them will have a discussion about what it is they can improve on for the next day and what the teachers can do to help them make these improvements.

On Wednesday, when I called up this particular boy, we'll call him Art (he's a terrific artist), he explained to me how important it was for him to start behaving in class. He told me about his father's expectations for him and how his father told him if he didn't shape up, he wouldn't get a birthday in November or a Halloween costume. He went on to tell me how he knows what to do to be a good student and how hard it is sometimes because the other boys, his friends, make fun of him for behaving. As we discussed the importance of education and how he was only hurting his own chances of learning by misbehaving, he promised to make an improvement on his behavior choices. I asked him if I could use some key words to remind him of our agreement if I felt he was getting off-track with his behavior. I suggested "Birthday" and "Halloween" since those were important things he was working towards. Because I know his attitude when he's being confronted about an issue, I made him agree that if I nicely mentioned our key words, he couldn't use comebacks ("I don't care about my birthday or Halloween" or "Whatever, those things don't matter"). He agreed. Ms. B and I are so proud of him, because after my heart-to-heart with him, he came to school Thursday and Friday and was truly a star student.

Art received all of his points for Thursday and Friday, but because of the lack of points at the beginning of the week, he was unable to join us for our Friday game. He was heart broken to see his report from the beginning of the week and also fearful of what his parents would say. Ms. B promised to share his improvement to the family member who picked him up after school. She also worked out a deal with him for joining the after school sports team she coaches. He's been dying to join, but he wasn't allowed to because of his poor behavior choices these first few weeks. I really want him to be able to join the team, but it's out of my control. I think it could be another good motivation for him to make the right choices and do his personal best in school. Both Ms. B and I were so proud of the progress he made at the end of the week. We are hoping it sticks, at least most of the time.

The Third Friday

I'm alive (kind of) and the thing that's keeping me this way is the fact that I have survived 3 weeks, and I'm feeling successful, happy, hopeful, and relieved that my class is calming down and starting to learn. Unfortunately, I'm completely exhausted - more than I've ever been in my Entire Life. I love my commute... 2 hours of required reading time a day, what reader wouldn't?! Yet, it's wearing me out. I've also acquired a phobia of germs (from the subway and 22 children's hands) and somehow still caught a cold, which started setting in Thursday.

Magic Carpet

You wouldn't believe what we've discovered! After many experiments, extreme observations, and days of testing, Ms. B and I have discovered something outstanding about our classroom. We are in possession of a Magic Carpet! A circle carpet, that can barely seat 22 students, holds the power to focus and give motivation for learning to each of our students.

Our class has a hard time learning from their desks. It's hard to focus, some have trouble directing their attention so far away, the volume in the class quickly gets louder and louder. Ms. B and I decided to teach our mini-lessons in smaller groups (parallel teaching if you remember my post from teacher orientation!). We are both teaching the same thing to smaller groups of students, and it provides us with more opportunities to focus on the structure of the mini-lesson and engage and involve the students. Plus, it provides us a chance to show them the structure we are developing for them to learn in (& calms the chaos). Our thinking was to work this way for a while until we could start bringing them back together and learn/teach as a whole group.

This process of breaking the class up works great... for half the class: the half that's meeting on our magic carpet. The other (less fortunate) half meets at the front of the room, originally sitting on cold, hard, un-carpeted floors and now pulling up chairs in a semi-circle. No matter the group or the teacher, they are just not as successful as the group benefiting from the magic of the carpet in the back corner.

We've requested a second carpet, and if we don't get one (probably won't), you can guarantee I'll sacrifice some of my Teacher's Choice money so we can have a second carpet area for small group mini-lessons. We'll just need to put our problem solving caps on (wear mine daily) to figure out exactly how to create that second carpet area within our already packed classroom (the one with the extra furniture that we are required to keep, even though we have no use for it or desire to keep it wasting the little space we do have).

Shoes Tied Together

My morning started off as normal. I headed outside with Ms. B to pick up our class, the one with the perfect line of girls and the not-even-close-to-perfect line of boys. As we headed in, I took up the back end of the line, only to be stopped by a student who couldn't move forward. Turns out one of our "perfect" girls had helped him tie his shoes real tight... together. *Giggle...

He just stood paralyzed as the class went on, and I quickly attempted to untie the very tight knot she had tied and tried to push the giggle and laughter out of my mind (especially because the assistant principal was looking over my shoulder inquiring the reasoning behind the knot). I felt a bit bad as I explained to the girl that it wasn't appropriate to tie someone's shoes together. Her only response, in her sweet, innocent, scared voice was, "I didn't tie it that tight." She obviously doesn't know her knot-tying powers... It was pretty tight (or I'm just not that good at untying knots). My real question was, How did that student not realize his shoes were tied together?

Through all the craziness of the end of the week, I forgot to share a compliment Ms. B and I received on Friday from our principal. She commended us on our abilities to team teach together as well as we do after only 2 weeks of sharing a classroom. We were both thrilled to hear that we (rock!) stood out as team teachers! The more and more we work together, the more I realize how lucky I am... I never truly enjoyed team teaching. From past experiences, it seemed like I couldn't fit with others that well in the classroom - we always had enough differences for it to be awkward and a bit frustrating. With Ms. B, I don't really feel any of that. Mostly, I just feel thankful that we randomly got interviews with the same school, happened to get hired on the same day, and ended up sharing the same classroom!

O and one other happiness to my Monday: Got my first Pay Check! Wahoo! Unfortunately it wasn't in directly deposited, so I need to send it off to get deposited, another week before it makes an appearance in my bank account. My checking account was getting really sad ($31 sad - Good thing for my husband!) Now I can start to make it happy again!

Kick Off to a Better Week

It's 11 p.m. on a Sunday night, and like the past few Sundays, I'm wide awake thinking about the week to come. This week will be better than the end of last...

1. I have had a few days to recover and refocus. Tomorrow is a fresh start as we move forward with our learning.
2. This blog has helped me to start making ties with other teacher bloggers, some of whom have already given me advice and encouragement through their own postings or comments left on mine. Their words have given me support, because I am not the only one going through this, and I will succeed. There are many, many people who have suggestions and encouragement to offer and experience beyond my own.
3. Ms. Brave offered up words of hope that the classroom environment will get better and being strict right now does not denote meanness. She helped me re-evaluate the difference between "strict" and "mean," and I'm refocusing my thinking and beginning to understand what I need to be as a teacher in the city. (It was expected that I'd be thrown off a bit and needing to learn a few things as I started fresh... especially since my past experiences have been far from city settings, and far from NYC.)
4. I feel like my life is getting into a routine and becoming a bit more like life... and for one of the first times since I moved here, I Truly feel like I have a life here in NYC and that this is my home. It might have been the fact that this weekend was the first weekend my husband went on a trip and I did not join or have any desire to - I had my own stuff to take care of. Or even more, it was the fact that I had my own errands to run... ones that did not have to deal with the apartment or my husband... My very own errands. :)... of course they all revolved around school, but I enjoyed them just the same!
5. O - and Ms. B and I spent extra time preparing for next week... It's nice to have a better clue of what we are doing in our classroom. Soon enough, we'll have our plans laid out for the weeks ahead, our teaching will improve, and flying by the seat of our pants won't be requirement to survive the day.
   

Ms. I Like Your...

Through all the chaos in our classroom last week, there were moments I wish I could have taken more time to stop and appreciate... Most students come to school with an innate love for their teachers. In younger children, you hear them tell you everyday how much they like your hair, fingernail polish, shoes, smile, dress, shirt, whatever else they can think of that they like... As students become older, the verbal expression becomes more imperceptible, but it still sneaks out every now and then.

Throughout the last few days of last week, between the mayhem we call class, I heard the comments of the a few students...

• Ms. I like your ring. It's so pretty. Is it your wedding ring?
• Ms. I like your shirt. It's really cool.

Their comments, often said at a time when I am attempting to focus the class, are sweet and remind me of how much I love working with children everyday rather than adults. Although adults do compliment, sometimes you wonder if they are just saying something to have something to say... and kids, they're forthrightness and honesty can be charming.

First Cry of the Year

I started this new blog to separate my personal blog and my school blog and to create a blog that I could keep as anonymous as possible, for confidentiality reasons. The process of starting a new blog was elongated by my lack of decisiveness on a name for it. I wanted the name to be a good one, one that was true and fitting for who I am and how I feel about teaching. Something that felt powerful when you heard it, also easy to remember, and obviously a teacher's blog. I made lists and looked up words in the thesaurus/dictionary. I even made my husband listen to all my names and help me look for and create the perfect name.

Originally, I wanted to name the blog My Name is Teacher, but I was too late... someone already thought of it. Then I chose, They Call Me Teacher, and as you can see, no one had bought the domain name yet; so here I am, Teacher, and I'm very excited to start developing this blog and sharing my experiences as a new teacher to New York City.

Last night, as I thought about what my next blogs would be, I realized that some of the name choices would have been horrible. For example, Optimistic Teacher, would have been really hard to pull off yesterday. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to not be optimistic, I just realized yesterday that I was extremely low on optimism (except the outlook of the chance to relax for the weekend). I also don't want this blog to be a rant and rave all the time, so this is why I waited a whole 24 hours to reflect on (calm down from) yesterday before starting a blog about it...

It's not the first time I've cried at school. It happened a couple times last year when a co-worker of mine would say something to cut me down because I was a new teacher, and I'd take it personally and run to my classroom to hide and cry. Friday, a handful of students catalyzed the crying by acting out, talking, not listening, being horribly disrespectful, and then being held in from lunch by their cluster teachers. It was horribly sad and disappointing (happened 2 days in a row, we had hoped the first day would have been enough to make them realize they needed to shape up). Because of their actions, they were required to fill out behavior reports, which were in turn filled in with details by us and supposed to go home for parent signatures. Some of these students would make sure these papers didn't make it home, and we were trying to be one step ahead of them.

As I ran around the school looking for one person to help us make copies of the papers, I turned to a teacher who has already been exceptionally helpful to us. Unfortunately, she was with another teacher whom we've asked for support from before. The second teacher thought I was there to "bother" her and informed me she had No time to help me make copies of something I needed to take care of myself. She further informed me that Ms. So-and-so was the copier... which would have been helpful to know if (1) I knew who Ms. So-and-so even was and where to find her, and (2) if someone had clued me in that she was even the person who was making the copies. I've been pretty thick-skinned so far this year (surprising, because anytime I had to talk to New Yorker's prior to moving up here, I felt like crying before I even picked up the phone), but at that moment, I melted. I tried to hold it in and disguise it but we all know how that works. Another teacher saw me and before she could even ask me what was wrong, I was falling apart, tears rolling down my face. I couldn't even explain to her what was wrong, she just told me she'd take care of the copies and that I'd better get my tears cleaned up and my appearance back to normal, because I couldn't let the kids see me cry. I dodged into the (luckily) unlocked teacher bathroom and splashed water on my face while giving myself a quick pep-talk and reminding myself that it was Friday.

First two weeks of school are complete, but I don't feel as good about it as I hoped. Thursday and Friday were not spent "teaching" but instead managing behavior. I was beginning to feel like a drill sergeant, which is the last thing I want to be.

It's really challenging for me right now. A major part of my philosophy for teaching and managing students is to build relationships with them, get to know them, show them I care. I would then use this to help talk to them about their behavior and help them work on improving it enough so that we could continue learning in the classroom. This worked wonders in a school where the students know what it's like to build relationships with their teachers, where the principal can use the phrase "Your teacher really cares about you and wants you to learn" and it means enough for them to at least shape up for the rest of the day. That school isn't the one I'm teaching in anymore... and right now, I'm having a major battle with what I know as a school and what I have as a school, with who I am as a teacher and who I have to be in this school as a teacher, with sharing myself and with dissembling myself. I'll figure out what type of teacher I need to be to teach and manage these students successfully... I'll figure this out sooner or later... but I can't help but fear that this will permanently make me that kind of teacher. I don't want to be strict and distant from my students forever. I don't want to regret smiling and laughing with them because they then lose control and ruin the learning environment. Somehow, I need to find a way to be the kind of teacher for the students in my class that can have a smile on her face while simultaneously having the "we get business down" expression standing strongly behind that smile.

There were moments of learning, and these were amazing. They gave me the fuel I needed to make it through the day. These moments were also enough to get me to start thinking more deeply and asking myself how I could keep these students engaged despite the distractions (distractions = one boy student, who's supposedly being removed and put in a smaller sized class, yelling out wrong answers on purpose or singing songs at the top of his lungs whenever he felt the urge).

It's hard, as Ms. B and I analyzed last year's scores, we realized our students have a vast degree of variances. Things that are easy for one student are extremely difficult for another... and unfortunately, to keep this group on, they need to be engaged 100%... if we are doing something easy or hard for any students, that 100% is down and the class is headed for chaos. (I start to wonder why, socially, it is unacceptable for students to be taught on their actual academic level instead of these socially acceptable "grades". If you are a "level 2" wouldn't it make sense to learn with others at a level 2 and from a teacher who is teaching at a level 2.... but this is a whole other story, too deep for my thinking at this moment, and definitely something that doesn't take priority today.)

Anyway, Thursday and Friday were both exceptionally difficult. We met with many parents about their student's issues in class and made numerous phone calls home. Unfortunately, Ms. B and I haven't seen a difference in our students yet. Maybe we will on Monday... we can hope.

O and just to set it straight... These "students" who have these "behaviors" that need to be managed are only about 1/3 of the class. Unfortunately, they are so distracting and I'm so unprepared on how to deal with them, that it takes away from the learning of those who are there to learn. The other 2/3 of the class is great. Ms. B are very lucky to be spending the year with them. Not that we aren't Lucky to be with that first 1/3 - we are (we just have to remind ourselves of that :) We will eventually be able to break down the wall that separates them from learning, and this will be a success we won't soon forget. I think other teachers will agree, those students who cause you the most stress end up having this attachment to your heart as you wonder how they are doing without you as their teacher and if you did enough to teach them and guide them down the path towards success. I often wonder how my 2 handfuls from last year are doing in Middle School.

It seems that it's taking me a bit longer to get focused on what I'm supposed to be teaching the students. I'm starting to wonder if things will improve once I figure out what I'm supposed to be doing... I just have to say, being a new teacher is EXTREMELY hard (understatement).

Building Stamina

In our students (but I'm working on it too, but mine is patience stamina!!). The stamina we are building in our students is for independent reading. I am quite surprised at the students' lack of ability to read independently. In most schools I worked in previously, the students knew what independent reading was and were able to hold high expectations for themselves as readers during this time. My students last year did an amazing job with independent reading, in class and out of class.

Not as apparent this year though; Ms. B and I have some work to do. As we began to take this in and attempt to make a plan for what we were going to do to get our students to become successful independent readers, we both became completely overwhelmed and I became frustrated at the state of the situation and my lack of time to prepare and plan for this. Now that I've had some time to cool down, watch TV with my husband, and relax, I feel ready to begin working towards building stamina.

Even more, Ms. B helped to inspire me and gave me an extra excitement in the challenge we have ahead. Check out the slide show she sent: Kids Need Reading Stamina. The more and more I work with her, the more and more thankful I am... How lucky am I to work with and share a classroom with someone I get along with so well, is so smart, and is very motivated to provide these students with the best! This year will be outstanding because of the work we will be doing together. Thanks Ms. B!

Mice-Capades

The first Monday of the school year, and I have to say the day seemed a bit more calm than last week's days (either that or I've increased my tolerance for chaos already). Of course the calm wasn't a complete calm, but at least enough to leave Ms. B and me with enough energy to laugh about our very active mouse situation. *More on that later.

I've started learning about our students. For example, we had no time for the scheduled "Read Aloud" block put at the end of the day for the first few days of school. I'll even admit to thinking the scheduled timing for it was a bit off the rocker. On Friday, we found out something different... a secret being kept, the treasure at the end of the rainbow. Our time was short and the pages read even shorter, but the students were mesmerized, the room was quiet (almost), and a calm had settled over the crowd. Turns out, we were a bit off the rocker for not using the read aloud time from the first day of school (Lesson learned!). From now on, our days may rarely end without at least a few minutes of read aloud time at the end of the day. We'll have to keep up a list of really good read alouds so our kids will continue to be pulled in and calmed down. The current book is Inches and Miles: The Journey to Success by John R. Wooden. Right now, the inch worm named Inches and the mouse named Miles are on a journey to find all the blocks that are needed to build the Pyramid of Success!

After school, things got interesting. As you probably picked up, we have a mouse issue. Our little mouse friend, I've dubbed him as Despereaux after the main character in one of my favorite children's chapter books, The Tale of Despereaux by Kate DiCamillo. As I typed this blog, though, I realized he could be our mouse friend, Miles, on the search of the Pyramid of Success?! Anyway, our mouse friend was out and about again today (first appearance made last week) after the noise of the classroom quieted and while Ms. B and I planned for the rest of the week.

His first appearance today was to check out our location, as he peeked out a few times from behind the projector cart. After doing this a few times he ran back to his hole in the teacher corner. This was, indeed, not the last sighting of him.

A bit later, as the pencil sharpeners were grinding pencils to sharpness and we were attempting to have a conversation over the noise, we were brought to a pause by a scream, not your normal scream, but that of a mouse who must have had something important to say. Then, we spotted him as he ran along the outer wall of the classroom.

Even later, as we were wrapping up, laughing, and discussing the interesting mouse events that happened to be taking place in our section of the hall... (A 6th grade class was bid farewell by their mouse as he climbed up the class computer and held his ground even when the teacher approached him in attempt to scare him off.) I could have sworn I saw the tip of a little mouse tail in our closet, about 3 shelves up. I'm pretty sure Ms. B wondered if my mind had imagined the tail because of the topic of our conversation. I promised her that I was sure I saw Despereaux's terrible little tail (this D still has a tail!) as he was running for cover within the stuff in the closet. As I fished out our bags to bring them to safety and shake out any potential guests, I saw the mouse run down the back of the shelf and into the dark depths of the closet. Now, my task was to get the mouse out of the closet completely, but I couldn't chance having the little monster run over my feet. So there I was, climbing from a table to an upside down tote in order to get close enough to scare him. All this time, Ms. B is laughing and watching from the top of nearby student desks and wondering if I happened to have my digital camera handy. (With the way these events keep happening, I'm sure she'll get some pictures of my daring adventures and my problem-solving strategies soon enough!) The mouse finally surrendered the closet. We locked it up, vowing not to leave it open long enough for him to visit again.

All-in-all, this Monday turned out to be rather nice (my good mood is repressing the moments of frustration that still existed throughout the day). I'm looking forward to the rest of the week with the class and moving forward in teaching and learning.

Mostly Lots of Fan Emails

Officially my weekend lasts through Sunday. Unofficially, my weekend ends on Sunday afternoon, as I spend late afternoon and evening preparing for the week to come. Prepared is exactly what I must be to insure the most success for my students and the overall flow of the classroom.

The pressure has already begun to set in, as I am still trying to figure out what point I need to get these kids to, but even more, what point they are at right now and where I need to start. The school holds up the importance of pre-assessments right off the bat. We call them baselines, another NYC term that I've never used before but is now officially a part of my vocabulary. Last week the students started baselines in math (3 parts - the last to be done tomorrow) and completed baselines in writing.

This evening, as I read back over my half of the writing baselines, I was trying to compare the writing abilities of these students to the students I had last year. (I wish I would have done a no-instruction, no-help baseline writing last year.) Many of the students wrote about their summers and tried to squeeze two months of activities into a short writing piece. Of course, this led to sentences starting "And then... And then..." A few students did creative writing pieces where they made stories up. Although I didn't have many creative writing projects last year in my class, I'm looking forward to the set up of Writer's Workshop and the opportunity for more students to get creative with their writing and imaginations. I did have to laugh a little as I read the introduction paragraph to one student's creative piece:

One day in Oobi town their was this little girl named little girl. She was so rich and famous and smart, she had three babyies and 1 friend and mostly lots of fan emails.

*Note: The excerpt is typed exactly as the student wrote it.

I guess we've moved past the times of good ol' snail mail. In the technological times only fan emails are accepted!

O and I also enjoyed the piece about a boy's summer where he wrote about the end of a class field trip:

I took a van home and I also came home with a lot of books and a hat, with a whole pizza pie.

A whole Pizza Pie!? That's the kind of field trip I want to go on this year.

Posters Galore

The crafty person in me loves making posters and was more than thrilled to buy a new pack of smelly markers... I'm just wondering how we could be more environmental and not waste so much paper on these posters we are required to do for school. Large pads of paper are coming out our ears, and each part of our wall will soon be plastered with various posters baring all sorts of information.

Don't Want to Be Nice

A couple of days before school started a young, experienced teacher explained how we should make sure we go into the classroom without a smile on our faces. She told us about how she was called "cool" by one of her students and how badly it ended up turning out because the student then thought they could do as they please. I've heard things like this before - people say not to smile for the first three months, and I've never been able to understand why someone would even think that is effective. Until I was called "nice" by a few kiddos yesterday, and I began to realize that my niceness needs to be put on a shelf for a while and the strict, mean teacher somewhere inside of me needs to jump out and nip any thoughts of misbehaving right in the bottom! (Too bad the kids have no recess to run off all of their energy... against the law in Kansas - we couldn't technically keep the kids in for recess there. I'm going to do some research on this, but there isn't a lot the school can do about it. The playground isn't the safest place for the kids. I guess last year a shooting took place in the neighborhood when kids were out. We'll just have to put movement into our classroom lessons, while still hoping our kids don't get too out of control.)

I am torn and a little sad at the thought that these students cannot handle me being me as a teacher. They've had strict disciplinarians in the past, and it's probably the best way to ensure for a successful school year. It's just a bit more intense than I had hoped or planned. When would I have ever imagined that being called "nice" would backfire on me?! Hopefully in the next few months I can be nice again, but for now, I'm all business, and I'm going to start making sure that a few particular boys are aware of this... Starting at 8:30 a.m. tomorrow. (This whole situation makes me wonder, are they this way because their past school experiences with strict teachers or are the teachers this way because of the students... Or maybe they are just this way with Ms. B and I because they know we are new and still unsure about what in the world is going on!) And another thought - maybe I'm still stuck back at the end of last year with my last group. We had developed a classroom environment that was very comfortable, and the students could handle me being fun, silly, and myself. I hope it comes with time, actually I'm sure it will.

This will be a trying year, I can already tell. Tonight, I'm exhausted and just want to go to bed. I am actually already looking forward to the weekend so I can take a second to breath and sleep. Although I didn't get home until 7:30 p.m. I beat Seth home. As I sat, eating warmed-up leftover pizza and watching the news, I thought about the kids I'm working with, and I felt my heart break as I thought about some of their situations... and even more as I thought about how hard it is for me to relate or understand. There is a large percentage of the student population infected with HIV and another large percentage of students living in homeless shelters. Another teacher was telling me about how kids move in and out of the school as they move from shelters to other living situations or other shelters. I don't know my students' stories, but I hope to learn more about them as the school days go on, and maybe they can teach me a thing or two about life (as the contract written by a group of my fifth graders states - "Teachers should learn from the students")... This teacher is ready to learn.

O and on a side note... I spotted my first two mice (or one mouse twice?) tonight. Ms. B and I were planning in our corner when I saw the little rodents run about a half a foot from my own feet. As you can assume, we hurried through the rest of our planning and headed out.

1st Day of School

This blog was written on D train on my way home from an exhausting 1st day of school while listening to music by Robin Macy and simultaneously getting sky high at the thought of living and teaching in New York while staying grounded with the reminder of where I come from.

Fourteen boys and seven girls. We ask for no more boys. Lucky (or not?) for us, we have 8 boys who are going to be potential handfuls for the year, all of which we’ll absolutely love (eventually) and absolutely be driven crazy by (almost daily). At least this is what I predict.

Having so many more boys throws an imbalance in our classroom’s equilibrium. Yet, the girls have left us their first day with first impressions that they are heaven sent angels. But we still don’t have enough girls to separate all the boys. It sparked some wonder in my mind what the research is on the physical makeup of a classroom and which leads to more success or more stress. I’m leaning towards more boys = more stress. We’ll just have to see how it plays out.

Ms. B and I only showed our clueless-ness a few times today. We realized that one of our students had already started sizing us up before school even started. With a cute, “innocent” smile on his face, he asked us if we were new, and I could see right through that smile to all the potential schemes he was starting to plan. Too bad for him, we’d already sized him up with the help of advice from other teachers. Very smart child, I can tell we are going to have to come up with more challenging work to keep him busy, challenged, and out of trouble. Also, if anyone finds a remote to mute kids, we might need one for him!

The range and variety of diverse names has definitely presented me with a challenge. No Ryans, Kyles, or Sarahs. Half of the names are names unique to the students, names I’ve never heard of before and might never see again. In the past, I’ve always been a pro at having the names down immediately and correctly. Didn’t happen by the end of the first day this year. Hopefully, I’ll have it by the end of tomorrow. I will be practicing between now and the morning.

Another surprise, almost all of the students (in the whole school ~ 800) showed up in uniforms. This was something I didn’t realize would take place, only because it isn’t found in public schools I have experienced in the Midwest. I’m still unsure if it is actually required that the students are in uniforms or if it is only strongly encouraged. I have to say though, the kids look good in their uniforms – collared or button up white shirts, dark blue skirts or jumpers for the girls, dark blue pants or jeans for the boys. These kids, in their uniforms, put me in the mood to get serious about my job to educate them. I feel more professional surrounded by the uniformed students. The students in their uniforms really impacted me today in a way I didn’t realize would happen with uniforms. It actually makes me wonder if I will be able to or want to make a transition back into schools with non-uniformed students. I’m already in love with what I’ve experienced and felt as a teacher just by their uniforms.

Not all students were in uniforms, and it’ll be interesting to see if they get them over the next few weeks. I’m sure that will depend on if it is required or not. About four of the 21 students came without uniforms. They were either wearing nice school clothes or printed tees and jeans.

The uniforms also impress me because it impresses on me the importance of education for these children. Even if the parent cannot be as involved in their child’s education (circumstances out of their control or lack of true realization to what should be expected), I’m impressed that they make sure their child has nice new uniforms for school.

The other positive thing about uniforms, something that makes me wish they were in my classroom last year, is the lack of worrying about what others are wearing, what clothes and styles are trendy in the world of 5th grade, and the popularity contest that comes with clothing. It puts students all on the same level physically. Even from the first and only day of uniforms, I can feel it definitely takes that element of popularity based on clothing out of the classroom.

I’m very happy about my ride home tonight. I made sure, practically ran for, a spot by the window on the right side of the train so I could wish the city view a good night after the first day of school as a REAL New York City teacher and a survivor of my first day of school! This is my new home, a place for me to teach and begin to make a difference in the lives of my students.

Although I’m completely exhausted (bed at midnight last night, hardly any sleep, up at 4:45 a.m., taught all day), I’m completely happy and hopeful at the new school year. I’m also sure that people on this subway are beginning to wonder why I keep smiling to myself as I frantically scribble in my notebook.