I'm Not the Only One (a rant)

I think I've done a good job of keeping this blog from being one huge rant, but that doesn't mean I'm not ranting and raving on the inside. Someday, I'll get used to this messed up system I've come into, but I'm still new and I'm Not used to the stress that comes along with teaching in the NYC public schools. I previously taught in a district that had a few elementary schools, one middle school, and one high school. I didn't have "payroll secretary" at my school, I just went to the district office a few blocks away to take care of my business. I was also surrounded with people who were kind, friendly, respectful, and all-around nice people. It's going to take me a while to get used to the change... I'm definitely not in Kansas anymore.

It's nice to know that I'm not the only new teacher frustrated by the system. I know many new teachers who share in my frustrations. I'm not the only one who is challenged to teach and expect students to be respectful even though they are surrounded by staff and faculty who can hardly show respect for others for 6 and half hours of the school day. Even the administration is blatantly disrespectful at times. I wonder how the students will ever learn to be respectful, because we all know the streets are filled with disrespect and I've already experienced moments of parents being disrespectful, so it makes me wonder how much they see at home. One place in the world that I would expect to be filled with respectful adults is a school, more specifically, an elementary school. Don't get me wrong, not everyone is disrespectful, but there are enough disrespectful role models for these students within the walls of our school... and enough of them barging into my classroom daily setting the wrong example. Which brings me to my next thought...

I know I'm not the only one getting frustrated by the constant interruptions that keep me from teaching and make me start to wonder what my intruders think my actual purpose is... Last I checked, I'm there to fill my students with knowledge. I know, papers need to be handed out, and having each teacher sign for it guarantees we get it. (Get it... meaning, in the middle of my teaching I shove it somewhere and find it randomly later with no idea I even had it.) Can someone at least explain common courtesy to these intruders? Sure, come in my classroom, but don't expect me to immediately drop Everything and run to you. Give me a moment. I'm a master of asking a question and giving students 2 seconds to discuss with a partner. That way, at least they are staying on task. Don't come into a quiet room and speak in a normal volume. Use Common Sense and Whisper! The students don't need to hear what you have to say anyway. The other day, on the subway, I found one of those papers I signed for a few days back (no idea when I received it... look how great their system actually works). It was a letter explaining the expectations of not interrupting the secretaries and administration... (Interesting... they don't like when someone comes in and demands immediate attention. Will they ever realize what they do to the classroom teachers?) I figured, if the admin. can have those expectations for their offices, so can I in my classroom. I wish I could put up a sign on the door that explains my expectations. If I could, I'd say, "Welcome to our class. We are learning, so if you Must come in, please wait by the door patiently for a moment while our teachers get us on track to continue learning. They'll be right over to address your issues. Also, please whisper, we Are learning in here!" Then again, I've already realized I don't work in a system of equal expectations. Which brings me to my next point...

I'm not the only one who has learned to fear the administration. In my past scholarly experiences, I was never a student who was getting in trouble and feared the repercussions of the principal. Nevertheless, I am beginning to understand the fear that can be tied to the administration. It's not that I'm getting "in trouble" or even think I'm doing something wrong. It's just that I often have the feeling of failure from the administration... Part of it is possibly their expectation that we are to read minds and know how to do everything correctly because they don't have time to tell their new teachers anything. Their actions make me wonder what type of teachers they would be... and how long it took for them to forget basic knowledge of teaching. I would never give my students an assignment without giving them instructions of what I expected. I wouldn't let them finish and then tell them they did it all wrong. Yet, they do this to the teachers. They let us do things the way we think we are to do it and then tell us we did it all wrong and they actually wanted it a completely different way. Yet, if they would have just told us how to do it before we started, we could have saved all the trouble and not felt like failures because we can't read minds.

Ok. I'm done for now with my rant. I think my downfall comes from my past experience. I had a great administration and staff to work with last year. They truly did everything they could to set an example for the students and prove their purpose for working in the school... I know it exists. I just wished it were more prevalent in this school. Ms. B, sharing an optimistic view on the whole mess, pointed out how nice it is that we are surrounded by teachers in our part of the hall who are positive and definitely coming to school everyday to make a difference for their students. She's right. We are lucky to have great teachers around us, and we are all going through this mess together, despite the elements that are attempting to bring us down.